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Post by christopher on Sept 3, 2005 11:22:51 GMT -5
Draco wouldn't sleep. Not at a time like this. He never would be able to sleep when the one he so desperatly wanted to be with was so close yet so far. With a swift kick of strength prompted by the words 'it's okay' he sat up, resting his head against his knees for a moment to get the pounding feeling from his head.
Draco looked at her, ice icy blue eyes shining in the dim light. "It's not okay, though, Li..."he said, his voice soft and calm. "I've done so much to hurt you, and it's not okay."he said. "As far as I'm concerned, nothing's okay, I'm seventeen and I'm an elisted DE, I'm seventeen and being forced to kill. You're seventeen and are already having a child, and being a mother. It's not okay."he said, his eyes watery now. Draco was weak, this was true, physically and emotionally. He couldn't take the toil of life anymore.
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Post by Jenna on Sept 3, 2005 11:28:56 GMT -5
"And the same can be said about me. I hurt you too. So I think we are even. I don't want to sit around and us take blame for things we can't change. I can't change that I am pregnant and you can't change that you are a DE." she said softly. "Now just sit back." she said smiling, putting him down a bit. She turned on the light realizing he wouldn't sleep.
She sat back down, putting her hands up to her head. She was tired and she didn't know now to deal with this. "I guess the part that really bothers me is that. I am being punished for one mistake. You may not realize it but you do it to me." she said softly.
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Post by christopher on Sept 3, 2005 11:34:43 GMT -5
Draco didn't sit back down though. He looked at her and shook his head. "I can change the fact that I'm a DE, though."he protested. There was only one catch, Volemort would find him, and kill him. But sometimes Draco wondered if death would be a step up from following that hated man.
"I'm sorry..."Draco said, hanging his head. Draco sighed, he managed to hurt everyone in his wake, it was like a curse. As a kid he had loved being a Malfoy, but it seemed that all they did was place fear and hurt in to people, and Draco didn't always want that.
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Post by Jenna on Sept 3, 2005 11:43:50 GMT -5
"And I can change the fact that I am pregnant but I don't want too and you don't want to change that you are a DE so we are in the same boat we have been in." she said sadly. "I just wanted things to be perfect and that is not realistic. I wanted us to be together but you don't want it so here we are." she said sadly. "And me being here is a punishment." she said smiling sadly.
"I know you may be sorry but you still do it." she said on the verge of crying. "I just want to change things and as much as I want for the punishment to stop, I don't want to be away from you. So I endure it." she said.
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Post by christopher on Sept 3, 2005 12:22:25 GMT -5
Draco looked at her. "Li Na! How can you possibly say that with a straight face?"he said, shocked. "I love you, and I do want it, and that's why I can't let it happen, because I love you too much to see you hurt when..."Draco sighed. "When bad things happen..."
Draco looked at her sadly. "If I could help you, I would, Li."he said. "But if I was close to you, and something were to happen, it would be worse, and I would never forgive myself for becoming close to you again only to smash on it."
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Post by Jenna on Sept 3, 2005 12:40:17 GMT -5
She just shook her head at him. "You can't say things like that. You have to stop it." she said. The truth was it hurt more then he could imagine. She didn't want to be told that she was loved by someone she couldn't have. It made it harder to move on. She knew she couldn't move on even if she wanted to and that hurt a lot to. She was waiting for something that she couldn't have.
She didn't like being here anymore. She wanted to protect herself but she felt to weak against it. She felt the tears rolling down her face. He told her that it couldn't be and she knew it too but she didn't want to hear it.
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Post by christopher on Sept 3, 2005 12:46:21 GMT -5
Draco moved a gentle finger to her cheek, wiping the tears away. Her skin was smooth against his hand. More then anything he would give for this not to be their parting moment. To have her crying and to have him unable to reach out and kiss her and hold her in his arms till the world parted away from them. He moved his hand away, realising that he was just hurting her more by being near her. All of this misery was his fault to begin with, and Draco didn't know what to do. He didn't want to get close to her and die, because he was frail, and he knew that. Death was both his biggest fear, and his biggest dream. He feared death if it was brought to him for failing as a DE, because he had been hurt for his failures before, and his body was too weak to fight back now. But death would be sweet, because it would mean getting away from such a horrid world. Draco was confused and befuddled, and it was all just too much. "I'll stop then."he said simply.
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Post by Jenna on Sept 3, 2005 13:35:54 GMT -5
"Please don't." she said softly, pushing his hand away. She didn't want him to touch her it was just a tease. It showed her what she couldn't have and she didn't want to be teased anymore, not with words or actions because it all rolled into one thing a punishment. Him telling her that he would stop was music to her ears. She wanted to be realsead from the pressure she felt. Him telling her that he loved her was showing her something that she couldn't have and it wasn't fair to her. She stood up and turned off the light. "Now you need to sleep." she said walkign to the window and looking out, the silence was awkard but it was also a comfort.
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Post by christopher on Sept 3, 2005 13:45:24 GMT -5
Draco sighed and looked up at the ceiling, finding himself in tears as she crosesd over to the window. A single drop of water rolling down his skin, feeling as though it was burning along the pale surface of his face. Why was life like this? Why was it that they were burdened with such complications and strifes? Draco shut his eyes, but he was awake. How could he sleep? How could he sleep when he had to give up all hopes of Li and him being together? How could he sleep when he knew that at any given moment VOldemort could be at his side and kill him on the spot without a second thought. It was all too much. Draco breathed heavily, as if a terrible burden was upon his shoulders. Why was all of this so complicated?
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Post by Jenna on Sept 3, 2005 13:53:37 GMT -5
Li Na pressed her hand against the cold glass, staring outside, she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep. Not now at least. She slowly walked out of the room venturing downstairs to get a blanket and a pillow. She returned upstairs, finding a comfortable spot on the floor and laying down. She couldn't sleep either but she would try. It was hard when a million thoughts were running throught your head.
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Post by christopher on Sept 3, 2005 13:57:23 GMT -5
Draco watched her as she did so and frowned. He got out of the bed and walked slowly over to her, kneeling down beside her. "Li... you take the bed."he said softly. She had a baby on the way, and she had already done so much for him, it was the least he could do. He wanted her to be comfortable at least.
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Post by Jenna on Sept 3, 2005 14:00:10 GMT -5
"No, I am fine." she said rolling away from him. She didn't feel like sleeping and really she was just laying there. She didn't feel like talking right now. She was there to make sure he got better and then she plaaned on leaving. Her heart was getting colder, and she didn't mind it. It made her hurt less and less. She felt as if she needed it to happen so that she could be alright.
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Post by christopher on Sept 3, 2005 14:10:42 GMT -5
Draco frowned and stood up, walking over tothe window where down below the streetlamps were glowing over a dark shadowy pathway, each stone darker then the next as they dissappeared down the road. Each shop was empty, with a closed sign in front and the lgihts turned off. Draco simply looked through the window and thought. In many ways, he had always been looking through a window, metaphorivally speaking. He always was able to see what he wanted, and yet there was something blocking him from getting it. He hated that. He hated it so much. He felt like breaking that window once and for all. Draco pressed his hand up against the window in frustration, wanting ever so much to break it, though he knew better. He sighed, and leaned against the window, slowly letting himself drop to the ground with his head against the wall over the window, and feeling of hatred for himself within him.
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Post by Jenna on Sept 3, 2005 14:14:50 GMT -5
Li Na slowly watched him feelign the anger rising. She couldn't take it anymore. She got up and turned on the light. She reached for a nearby vase and threw it as hard as she could watching it shatter into a million little pieces. She looked at them shaking with anger. Then slowly she walked over picking up the pieces one by one. She couldn't help thinking how they were like her life. It was shattered and she had to pick it up. She just hadn't started doing that yet.
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Post by christopher on Sept 3, 2005 14:22:05 GMT -5
Draco stood up when the light turned, and as he did a vase came hurling at him. He jumped out of the way in time so that it didn't hit him, except for one of the flying pieces, lodging itself in his skin just below the Dark Mark. "f**k!"he said in surprise, and shock. Was he that much of a monster that she would throw something at him? He hated himself more just then. He winced, pulling out the shard of glass from his skin, and a clean cut slowly let red liquid ooze forth from it. He pulled out his wand and bandaged it with a simple tap. He knelt down to help her pick up the pieces, knowing it was better not to speak to her, but wanting to nonetheless. "I'm so sorry Li Na..."he said.
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